“The torment is bad, obviously, nobody wants torment, but the Torment Nexus has also lead to many useful technological innovations”
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“The torment is bad, obviously, nobody wants torment, but the Torment Nexus has also lead to many useful technological innovations”
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“Look, torment has already been invented. Cat’s out of the bag. We can’t turn back the clock. If we didn’t use the Torment Nexus to torment the entirety of humanity, then somebody else would do it.”
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@inthehands and they might not torment all of humanity as responsibly as we are so arguably we have a moral obligation to do this
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“Customers have told us: ‘AAAUGH!!’ ‘Why are you doing this to me?!?’ ’Make it stop!!’”
“You asked, we listened! The next version of the Torment Nexus will feature individual torment customization. With 20 torment controls and millions of possible combinations, you can make your torment your own.”
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@inthehands we really value the feedback we're getting from the torment community
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"Even before unleashing torment upon all of humanity, we have heard a clear signal that we can make it easier for people to choose to safeguard their privacy and security during torment. With that in mind we are announcing that all torment will be protected with strong, state-of-the-art encryption starting in Torment Nexus 2.7.”
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“We care. That’s why, here at the Torment Nexus, our Ethics and Safety team is always looking for more ways to reduce torment.
“In other news, we forecast 6000% growth for the Torment Nexus in the coming year.”
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@inthehands
I don't know how to DM. I'm at the tent -
@Okanogen
Alas, not making it over there tonight after all. -
“Some say that torment must be earned. Here at Torment Nexus, we believe that torment is for everyone. That’s why we’ve making the Torment Nexus free for everyone throughout this election season. Please enjoy this mandatory free trial!”
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“We understand that some alarmists have made the claim that the Torment Nexus will soon destroy all of humanity. We find that many people appreciate the affordability and convenience of torment. Furthermore, despite decades of research and billions of wasted dollars, the fact remains that there is no viable alternative to torment.”
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“In your torment, you cried out. Now, at long last, the feature you’ve been waiting for is here! Torment Nexus: now with customizable icon tint color”