Listening to @FreakyFwoof latest episode and this gets me thinking about interdependence care.
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Listening to @FreakyFwoof latest episode and this gets me thinking about interdependence care. Ever since I was young, it was stressed to me, even to the degree of harm because I developed unhealthy pride and got into some very unsafe situations because my pride lead me to creating a toxic environment of internalized ableism for myself, that independence was the only way to go, but blind people when I was growing up did not want me to practice interdependence care. I was to be fully independent, at all times. I was never to ask for help, from anybody, and while I don't want to explain all the lonely situations that put me in, I'd like to illustrate how interdependence care can be beneficial.
I was at a disabled persons house the other day with a group of disabled people. They knew carrying things was going to be problematic for me, with my cane, and the plate stacked with food, so they asked me if they could carry the food while I helped someone else pour a drink they asked assistance for and couldn't physically do. I said yes, and soon, we all were helping each other out and no agency was removed from anybody. Interdependence care looks different from the traditional care model because agency isn't taken away from anybody. It allows us to get to know each other and our bodies, which is a very intimate space. But by allowing other people into that very intimate space, a whole new kind of person centric care can emerge. It allows me to utilize words without qualifiers because when I speak of spoons, these loved ones instantly know where I'm coming from because we all practiced interdependence care, which is a type of love that I haven't seen much. There's only care, and no judgment, and it's far less lonely than being independent.
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@WeirdWriter I never heard the term interdependent care before but this is an idea that really speaks to me. Thank you for sharing what it means to you!!
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Link at end, but Yes! I can't speak for other communities but blind people, in my experience, haven't explored interdependence care. My other Disabled friends do. I was trying to find this amazing video on the subject, sent to me by @JamesHeady but I could only find videos by non-disabled people, but I started learning about interdependence care when I started getting Disabled friends outside of the blind community. It goes along with my thoughts on Access Trauma, here! https://robertkingett.com/posts/6617/ @worshipthesquid
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@WeirdWriter @worshipthesquid I completely agree with this, and pushing the independence at any cost model of operating in society for us blind people is just disgusting abuse that should be right up there with things like gay conversion therapy and applied behavior analysis. I too have definitely gotten into some situations that were Risky at best, and could’ve been unsafe at worst because of the bullshit that I was taught that passes for helping blind people be more independent. Those instructors were scumbags, but I save my most toxic hate for my fellow blind people who go along with this crap! I’m glad that you Rob are at least one of a few in the blindness community who see that bullshit for what it is.
