@[email protected] I think it's also worth scrutinizing how often 'red flags' overlap with tendencies displayed by trauma survivors- Some people who say "Every one of my exes were abusive" are genuinely just avoiding accountability, but so many people have genuinely experienced this because they've been very badly hurt and abusers seek out already traumatized people because they're easier to exploit. Victims can even subconsciously seek out those dynamics again because they're familiar. This can become a horrible cycle. This can go for a LOT of things that people tend to dismiss as always being Warning Signs

- posted by Piper

@[email protected] It's genuinely painful. I get it. The person that did this to us, we realized recently, had a mole in our friend group literally reporting on our actions to them for at bare minimum MONTHS. And I was barely even mad about it tbh because I know our friends and I am so worried that the cycle is going to just be repeated with the person that did that

The best we can really do, whether it's as friends or as administrators, is refuse to shut up about it. We won't stop talking about it because if what we have to say helps even one person back away from this kind of thing, the danger that being open about this puts us at risk of is worth it.

- posted by Piper

@[email protected] A lot of people tend to be dismissive of risks like this because they're sick of hearing boomer-esque "Everyone on the internet is a pedophile"

So I just want to very briefly add our own personal experience- It actually happened to us. As an adult. We genuinely experienced the boomer's worst nightmare situation of "Went to visit a years long best friend we trusted and got actually fucking kidnapped and trafficked". Was only supposed to stay for ten days and the return ticket got moved way out after we were already there, because it was booked by the other party

It actually happens. We are proof that it actually happens.

So repeat after me, EVERYONE, not just minors: YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW YOUR ONLINE FRIENDS ACTUALLY ARE IN PERSON. DO NOT FOREGO SAFETY PRECAUTIONS FOR ANYONE. If you go to visit an online friend, make sure other people actually know where you are and have regular contact with you

- posted by Piper