I apologize for any offense I may have caused, but I believe your presence here is no coincidence. You have to be the messenger. Please pass it along to the others via email chain letter, or perhaps more effectively, state that Mark Zuckerberg has changed the rules of Facebook and requires all users to automatically swipe when handed people’s phones. That should be effective in getting Aunt Joyce to do the exact opposite.

Never hand a boomer your phone. Especially an elderly boomer, and especially if that boomer is your mother. They will always start swiping. It’s like their brain just deflates. Their eyes glaze over. They get this wide, tranquil smile, as if to say, “Hot dawwg! This boundless collection of photos I’ve been handed is going to be a real treat!”, and they just start swiping. They just start fucking swiping.

I feel like I need to see pics of the parking situation/attendance on the street. Like, yeah… Lights are fun and that sucks, but also… this must have been a pretty big fucking problem if it warranted this kind of response. Article says the show would end after 20 minutes and immediately an entirely new crowd would filter in to replace the previous one. Sounds like lot of vehicles waiting to get in to view it in a residential neighborhood not designed for that kind of volume. I’d probably bitch to the council too after several years of enduring that.

For anyone who has been to the Yukon Territory and gazed upon its majesty, King Charles can get fucked. That province may as well be a wild horse. Even Alaska is a giant let-down by comparison.