Quite a lot of media we consume also needs to be swear-free

No it doesn’t.

It’s no coincidence “unalive” and “grape” have become a thing on TikTok and elsewhere

Fuck TikTok, and fuck any imbecile who uses those words unironically.

There’s a surprising amount of censorship around us.

And it’s our moral duty to fight it and to ridicule and oppose anyone who doesn’t.

it’s generally frowned upon to curse

No it’s not.

Again, the theocratic kleptocracy of Magastan isn’t an example of how the civilised world works.

Where I’m from, for instance, “I shit on God” is practically an interjection, like “fuck” in English (though the usage seems to be waning as the country becomes more secular), and calling each other “son — or daughter — of a whore” is considered a term of endearment.

it’s not cannibalism because the bread and wine still keep all their properties after turning into Jesus

You could make a perfectly cromulent meringue out of human blood, and it’d have all the properties of a meringue made out of eggs (no, seriously, blood is effectively a one to one culinary equivalent of eggs, except for the taste and allergens)… but it’d still be made out of human blood. ‍️

using profanity in most places gets you in trouble

Most places in the theocratic kleptocracy of Magastan, I assume; a few places (or circumstances) in the civilised world, which in most cases can be avoided due to them being excessively silly.

In any case, though, that’s not the fucking point.

If you don’t want to use a word, don’t fucking use it. Use a fucking synonym, or euphemism, or metaphor, or insinuation, or whatever.

Using most of the word but censoring one of the letters, however, is so utterly stupid and hypocritical that it’s insulting both to the readers and the writer. You’re still using the word, just with an intentional typo. You’re not lying to anyone except yourself.

lighten the fuck up

No, I don’t think I will.

Abject wilful idiocy irks me. ‍️

Also, I was in the toilet and had time to type.

It’s the opposite of cool. Cringey as fuck, is what it is.