@kissane There’s a volume aspect to this too. I suspect I’m considerably more norm-core than the archetypal Mastodon user (along most axes but not all) — but because I don’t have a big account, this stuff just doesn’t come up for me.
Might be worth doing a qualitative study of pain points identified by big users of various platforms/whatever-we-call-them, and what those say about the culture. (Possibly this is already out there. Possibly you are even the person who would have written it… I’m out of my depth here) The median user of any service probably just isn’t going to experience the same things.