I like riding trains

Showing the 60s B&W Addams Family show to my youngest, trying to convey the context:

"No a lot of the laughs is because they're inherently funny because they're weirdos. We're laughing at them, it's 'lol look at the weird goths' comedy. But what you have to keep in mind is, who do you think is *making* these things? Who writes, directs, acts for TV and movies, who gets into dunno costume design or music? Like it's not usually the jocks and preppers from school, it's the weirdos, the gay theatre kids, the nerds. Pay attention to the subtext in these old series, we had to portray ourselves through the straight gaze so it's always monstrous or ridiculous, but at a deeper level the camera always sides with the weirdos. No matter how caricatural are the nerds are in high school movies, the writing never leads you to empathise with the jocks and bullies. And here too"—fast-forward to a straight man acting as a sounding board for the delightfully young Wednesday talking about death and gore—"would anybody watch this and want to be like this guy? Because the thing with the Addams is that they're incredibly accepting and they love one another so much all the time, and they're always having so much *fun*, and no one is really a normie in real life, people are just repressed, so anyone watching this, you will see some trait of yourself in Gomez or Morticia or Fester and you probably had to hide that quirk to avoid ostracism, but the Addams own it and by doing that they're just thriving, it's a vicarious pleasure, like Kitarō which we were discussing before..."

I am elilla&'s slow realisation that when setting up the anarcofamília, I kinda had the Addams Family as an unconscious role model all along

what if I join the federated tiktok and just post clips of my boobs jiggling every day

why did nobody told me there is federated tiktok now? is this like, an intervention

Germany PSA: Lenzetto has reduced the amount per bottle, from 8mL to 6mL. If you're on a prescription make sure to have your doctor adjust the quantity of bottles.

recently I've had more young people asking me for advice on this and I'm like why do you want advice from me, I failed completely at it. I have a tech salary so I host a few queer people in need when I can, that's it, that's the bare minimum a socialist should do and it does not a commune make.

I guess I can talk about my experience with the times we worked towards that problem I could never solve, namely: how to get queers to do mutual aid when we don't know how to stay together.

1. You can't put a bunch of queer ppl in a space and say "it is forbidden to date, that's dangerous". That would be like telling cats not to jump. Bonding intimately to one another is kinda what we *do*.

2. When people are intimate they are liable to emotionally hurt one another.

Then you pair a subculture built from reified trauma, where any conflict is considered to be abuse, any hurt is violence, any disagreement is DARVO etc.; where the figure of the abuser is seen as a sort of duplicitous infiltrator to be rooted and cast out with prejudice; where the group is the first time the queer person ever felt accepted so they're liable to pedestalise others and thefore, when things go hurtful, to splitting and disposal; you pair this subculture of callouts, where the more you denounce the safer you are from your time on the wheel, against a material condition of wars and economic crises, against a world that deny us food and shelter and visas and medicine.

The result of this combination is that the first time there's a relationship conflict, both sides are incentivised to call the other an abuser as soon as they can, because whoever loses the narrative war in the abuser:victim binary also loses the support they need for shelter and medicine and collective self-defense etc. Moreover anyone not directly involved in the conflict is incentivised to get the fuck away, shut up and not get involved, lest they pick the losing side in the final narrative and be deemed an enabler. I.e. people are pushed to do the exact opposite of what we need, which is collective solutions to structural problems. Everything gets individualised, ascribed to failures of moral character of specific bad people, whose number somehow seems to multiply the more purges there are. So every relationship breakup splits the entire group into subgroups that never talk to one another again, even in the face of actual literal nazis stockpiling fucking guns, to literally fucking shoot at us. But no we can't have a gun range or an estrogen distro or a food forest, because Rebecca from Stuttgart punched a wall once when she was distressed and then she was deemed violent and problematic, and her bff Sarah who would have money to share now will never talk again to Marina who knows farming or her wife Dersima who could hook you up with immigrants.

> A community is a material web that binds people together, for better and for worse, in interdependence. If its members move away every couple years because the next place seems cooler, it is not a community. If it is easier to kick someone out than to go through a difficult series of conversations with them, it is not a community. Among the societies that had real communities, exile was the most extreme sanction possible, tantamount to killing them. On many levels, losing the community and all the relationships it involved was the same as dying. Let's not kid ourselves: we don't have communities.
(The Broken Teapot)

my therapist is trying to get me to resurrect the dream of the anarchist catgirl commune. and I'm like nooo therapist you just don't get it, you can't dream of things it will break your heart, I have to just stay in my corner avoiding any emotional danger while watching the world and my body both decay into ruin isn't that safe and healthy

punk as a music subculture grew on me 100% without me meaning to. after transition I got radicalised and found my usual metal to be lackluster in political themes. I started looking for music dealing with antifascism and queer issues, and this exposed me to genres I didn't pay any attention to, most of all German rap, folk punk, and punk. g.l.o.s.s. was the big entry drug, I blasted every single song of both albums obsessively.... Meanwhile the experience of dealing with nazis made me gradually and without conscious planning shift my fashion from hyperfem to aggressive. First the Pride tattoos, then side shave, then facial piercings, then deathhawk, then visible antifa tats... The more trouble I got in the more overt it made me, like a porcupine bristling. At some point I went back to old Brazilian bands I vaguely remembered from name but never clicked for me before (Ratos de Porão, Garotos Podres, Mercenárias) and I was like, hey this kinda slaps actually...

when I realised it, I had become at 40 the kind of person with neon hair and patch jacket who moshes to obscure local feminist crust acts then go home with a pepper spray and a pocket knife and at that point I noticed all of a sudden, what the fuck guess I'm a punk now

I feel like the stereotype is you grow *out* of punk, I wonder how many more are like me who only became a tattooed antifa troublemaker late in life. I mean middle-age crisis is also a stereotype. though I feel like in my case it was less about middle-age and more about transition, which in turn was about immigration

up until 1983 women were forbidden by law to play football in Brazil, as the rough culture of the field would degenerate their femininity and capacity to be good wives and mothers.

it always impresses me that men and women are supposed to have all these hardcoded biologically distinct brains that make them fundamentally different, and also all these differences are extremely fragile and have to be coddled and policed and forced insistently from since before the baby is born, lest they disappear in a puff of smoke.

GNU Affero General Public Licence to Kill

* speak German to them and encourage them to speak German to you even if their German is terrible. when they do venture some German, try to act rewardingly.

* use context, facial expressions, body language, and rephrasing to get the core meaning across (e.g. "ich möchte gerne spazieren [makes little walk in place gesture and continues:] möchtest du? in den Park gehen? schönes Wetter heute, oder?"). quick translations are ok too.

* use context, facial expressions and body language to get the core meaning of what they're trying to convey. quick translations are ok too. Don't get hung up on details: Don't expect German pronunciation to be like that of a native, don't expect case inflections to be perfect, and don't expect grammatical gendering to match a native's.

* if you need clarification, encourage them to repeat the word and rephrase it in German, or just a translation.

* never ever ask someone "can you write that down?"

* never ever correct someone's pronunciation or grammar, unless specifically asked to do that. you can help with vocabulary and grammar by fluidly echoing and rephrasing things without calling attention to it ("studieren[sic] deine Kinder hier?" "genau, sie lernen in dieser Schule.")

* do fun things in German (smalltalk, fooling around, boardgames, flirting, gossiping, trash talking...). don't let German be this rigid stolid language of government forms and grammar books. make them feel included in the insider groups, like intimate mates, like part of everyday life.

* generally try to act warm and kind towards immigrants who are trying to learn your language out of personal interest or material necessity.

@owl germans: you should talk in German not English, you've been here for so long.

me: na gut, ähm ich möchte gerne zum Flugháfen (rather than "Flúghafen")...

germans: zum *was*? (Flugháfen) was?? kannst du das aufschreiben? OMG literally unintelligible, just speak English from now on

I don't know if you can power through that out of pure spite. I think spite isn't as long-lasting as intrinsic interest and fun, and fun opens up your brain with a receptiveness that spite can't match. but spite is all I have left so may it carry me to a B2 certificate if not actual fluency.

there's also a factor in being *forced* to learn a language. Every time a German tells me "you've been here *how* many years?? and you still can't speak it?!", my repulsion for it grows. the fact that this is significant for my citizenship application process makes it even worse. if someone tells me "dance the tango or I'll put a gun to your children's heads", I will grow hatred for the tango.

no but seriously it's not the German I find so dismal. it's the textbooks, the exercises, the forced conversations about nothing, and worst of all, :bowsette_redhead_angry: the homework. I would feel this way even if it was a language I'm currently enamoured with. Classroom education is a fuck in general, but especially for languages it's downright depressing

should have immigrated to Norway, the language is like German if German was fun

today I go back to German class >.>

6000 languages in the world and I'm stuck studying German. what don't we do for a citizenship for our kids