A thing that feels kind of obvious, but I think genuinely confuses a whole lot of people in the moment:
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Paul Cantrellreplied to Jenniferplusplus last edited by
@jenniferplusplus
I have no idea how this plays out, but I’m interested! -
@inthehands there’s a weird variation of this in the online product page Q&A systems, where someone can ask about some obscure detail and the site will email the question to a bunch of previous buyers and a bunch of answers will come in from them basically saying they don’t know
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@ShadSterling
Oh, that sounds like some kind of “and it turns out they were all in hell” horror movie -
Jenniferplusplusreplied to Paul Cantrell last edited by
@inthehands my first thought is to remove the reply button from home feed posts where you don't follow the author. Or maybe always? Maybe no one needs to do drive by replies? Anyway, definitely make strangers click into the whole thread in order to reply.
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Paul Cantrellreplied to Jenniferplusplus last edited by
@jenniferplusplus
Yeah, that seems like a really smart way to start. Something that makes replying to strangers have just a certain kind of friction, something that feels like crossing a social barrier. -
Scott Feeneyreplied to Jenniferplusplus last edited by
@jenniferplusplus @inthehands Phanpy has done this, removed the reply button from the home feed! You have to either click into the thread or click the ...
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Jenniferplusplusreplied to Scott Feeney last edited by
@graue @inthehands phanpy seems to have put a lot of thought into these things, so that's good company to be in
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Michael Dekkerreplied to Paul Cantrell last edited by
@inthehands I’d like the default interaction for non-mutuals to be a post on the reply-er timeline. OP and their followers would be able to see this response, but it wouldn’t thread. There’s a name for this feature that I won’t mention …
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At the risk of being one of the people this is meant for... why post anything if it is not meant to be read and interacted with? Is that not the whole point of *social* media? Otherwise, why not just use a journal?
Folks reply with what they know, and it turns out that people are experts on themselves.
Perhaps it is because I seldom post and have few followers but I welcome interaction and replies as long as they are respectful. After all, that is why I am here.
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@torque
It’s a fair question. Two parts:1. People may find thoughts useful even if they do not reply to them.
2. As you point out, sometimes a reply from a stranger •is• welcome — if and only if it is valuable to the replyee. That requires a little social delicacy, and a little humility. “This is good thought” or “I would like to hear more about X” are usually welcome replies. “Well I don’t have this problem that you’re talking about” is usually obnoxious.
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PointlessOne :loading:replied to Paul Cantrell last edited by
@inthehands I don’t think it’s entirely fair to put full responsibility on the “reply guy”. OP knows what kind of platform they post on. They are aware that there will be a Reply button under their post.
If OP doesn’t want a reply they should use a medium that doesn’t provide an opportunity for reply. A blog with disabled comments, a static web page, or even an offline medium like a paper journal. Or be ready to ignore all replies to that post.
We can blame platform’s affordances all we want but we can not deny that the choice of platform is entirely on the OP and they are at least partially responsible for the outcomes of that choice.
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@inthehands Hahaha I see lots of reply guys in your mentions being Totally Normal about your statement, which should be common sense.
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The number of people in replies who (1) completely missed the point by misreading the first post as “people shouldn’t reply” and (2) then replied anyway is… unsurprising, I suppose, but still impressive.
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@MisuseCase
Ha. Yeah, just added a post about this very thing. -
@inthehands An excellent analysis, something I, and probably most other people, always somehow knew, but couldn't put into words.
Going one step further, this inability to understand that a reply of certain kind might not always be welcome seems to me caused by lack of empathy - that is, inability to imagine myself in the poster's place and understanding what the conversation might look like from their point of view.
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@graue @jenniferplusplus @inthehands
Off the top of my head:
A color code system. Red for no replies (and no reply button), dark orange for replies from followers only (and a Facebook style option of only they can see it), yellow for all can reply, and green for please reply. I suppose there needs to be a symbol too for the color blind.
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Louis Ingenthronreplied to Paul Cantrell last edited by
@inthehands Right, they are not talking to *you* specifically, but any public post to social media is inherently a conversation starter, or a public request-for-comment. If you're not DMing an individual, you're starting an open conversation. That's the entire point of social media.
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Zagonereplied to PointlessOne :loading: last edited by
At least for myself, when I post here I *ASSUME* that I will get replies. It's sort of the point really.
Especially since the platform emphasizes "followers" not "friends" I don't look for people I already knew in real life (like Facebook).
This said, there is some social etiquette. I always hope I won't be piled on by haters. I try to be polite. I am hesitant to enter conversations with a majority of very different people discussing a topic I know little about.
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@pointlessone @inthehands I’d take it a step further and say that I use these platforms in the first place _because_ anyone can reply. I _want_ to see those replies. If I wanted to read one person’s unchallenged takes, I’d be reading their blog.
The beauty of these platforms is that any random person can step in and offer counterpoints and alternative points of view. A little noise is the price for that level of openness.
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Aha! I just figured out what is bugging me about this. It totally reverses older online social etiquette.
It was/is the norm on email listservs, BBS boards, and online forums (maybe Facebook, definitely ancient CompuServe and AOL) to look DOWN on people who never replied.
They were/are known as LURKERS.
This may be a generational misunderstanding in part.