We do use vultr for hosting. However, speeds are 10GBPS and you can test the connection speed yourself within the control panel.
Resources are dedicated to each user and not oversold. This hosting is apart of our main brand, Milkk Media Group. We can insure no lag will be found. If you have any loading issues, please let us know, and we will get to work on deploying your own custom server in your location region.
Filtered channels and private conversations are a great approach, but I think NodeBB won't go that way in the future.
So esoTalk is an alternative to NodeBB because it's also fast and comfortable to use.
The combination with all the benefits of both would be the absolute best solution...