I'm realizing that there are basically three types of people when it comes to my boundaries.

Unhinged Chaos Demon

Abusers, accepters, and respecters.

Unhinged Chaos Demon

For most of my life, I thought abusers were the norm. People would just walk all over everything anywhere and it was like "pourous boundaries? No, you can't have ANY fucking boundaries." This is probably due to my BPD/Bipolar mom who put all that manipulation onto us.

Learning that this was not "normal" but "dangerous" didn't happen for me until I started transitioning and needed bodily autonomy… which is crazy.

I don't engage with those people anymore.

Unhinged Chaos Demon

Respecters, people who fundamentally respect the boundaries of others, were also something I didn't understand. That's not to say I never met any, but if you're fucked up enough to not think you should HAVE boundaries, you can't really recognize other people respecting yours, because you can't see your own boundaries.

Realizing these people existed, while trying to start having my own boundaries, was wild. These are people who START with consent. Consent is a BASELINE. And it's mindblowing. Like, people would actually ask me for consent before sending me a picture of themselves. Crazy.

I love these people so much.